2007-04-10 - 3:54 p.m.

I�ll bend like a reed in the wind.

My mind seems to be jumping all over currently. Anyway I suppose a catch up is required.

So I had a meal with Claire, it all went well but she�s pretty cut up about her last relationship so it was clear nothing was going to happen, but at least that makes everything easier, right? Well sort of, except that we�ve arranged to go to the Summer Darkness festival in Utrecht, it�ll be the pair of us and 2 of Claire�s friends who are a couple. It�ll see us sharing a double bed, which could make life, ummm, interesting. Now that could all be well and good if this was all that the future held, but of course there is more yet.

The rest of the week saw me saying goodbye to many others, some I expected to be a bit sore � Peter, Charlie, Jade. However one sat and really hit me in the stomach � Waish. I have always endeavoured not to dwell too much on her as she was in a long relationship and I was wary that once it finished that she would need time to settle, so despite an attraction I didn�t even dare pursue it. But when I said goodbye to her I realised how much she means to me, in a really hard to quantify way. I don�t think it would come as a massive shock to others if anything did happen, but that�s not the point. So we finally exchanged numbers as we�d never got around to that and we�ve been organising her coming to Infest and chatting almost everyday since then. I still get a few mixed signals from her, so I�m not convinced she�s interested but the level of flirting would certainly suggest she was. She�s put a post on FB regarding someone occupying her thoughts recently, and I may be being self-centred but I believe it�s me.

So we�ll see each other before Infest as she�ll be around for my viva �celebrations� which is, of course, before Summer Darkness, leaving me with the potential of two very attractive females both potentially interested in me, but me unsure where I even stand. A win-win situation surely? Well no, because I don�t know where I sit in the universe currently, thus leaving me with doubts that either would be a good thing for me as I can�t necessarily afford to lose myself in someone.

Both have that possibility, Waish more so than Claire, however if I shun one, I must shun both and at the end of the day neither might be properly interested. I just wish I knew where I stood in regards to this country at least, then I could think about individual cases. I don�t make things easy for myself!

Hmmm following last night�s texts regarding me being rather dashing in my suit I think it�s fair to assume Waish is interested. Not that this makes the path any easier.

Hit 88mph Marty - The Future????