2012-06-23 - 3:38 p.m.

I'm so bad at all of this, such a lack of self confidence where women are concerned. Every other part of my life I can be pretty forward and open about, but then I just freeze with women at the point of expressing interest.

Ended up sat with her for a whole busride home. Typically I had actually bottled out of getting the earlier bus, because I thought she'd be on it and I'd said to myself I'd invite her for food.

Instead she turned up on this one, not bad in itself as we could chat, but once again I bottled it. I think the work aspect is a stumbling block, there's a physical barrier because of it and I also don't want her to feel under pressure due to the surroundings.

I had said to myself, many months ago, that I wanted things in place by midsummer, because then we may have done something together if things had gone well. Instead I'm still drifting.

On the plus side I did message her, via the work messaging system, that we had excess cake. She inquired if it was an invite to coffee, which it was, indirectly. Unfortunately she was busy as it was the last day of work and she was leaving early, but then she said 'bye' just before leaving which was not necessary, so a positive, at least.

Next week there is tonnes of work, but I will invite her for food at somepoint, Fri or Sat are possibilities.

Not just 'I will', but 'I must' as well.

Get a fucking grip.

Hit 88mph Marty - The Future????