2012-09-23 - 10:37 p.m.

So a week later and how am I feeling?

Well, obviously the major proportion of happiness has subsided. Not unexpected with her not being around, but also due to the fact that I'm not sure what impact, if any, it has had on her.

We've communicated about random nothingness, I'll leave it another week before before I ask if we should discuss what it means. If only in the fact that if she continues to see this guy, then i would rather not spend too much time in his company as i have done wrong by him.

Having felt that my life has always been a little paused due to her, it now feels even more so as I'd be willing to go balls deep for this, if she wanted me to. I'd rather not mess anyone else around at the same time though.

Strange then, that at the same time it has boosted my confidence and I can see possibilities on the horizon that I would not necessarily have come to otherwise.

1. Erika - a girl at work, C pointed out that she was interested and I dismissed it. However, the way she has been this week and then we bumped into each other in a bar and she saidthat it was a surprise to see me, but a very nice one. I'm not convinced by her English all the time, but she brushes up really well.

2. Aino, busgirl - she stays in my thoughts and if anything her not being on the market has improved our interactions, a non-starter until she becomes single though.

3. Liina - 'Who?' you may ask. Som I went out on Friday with some people not connected with work, where I knew only a few people. I ended up chatting to a rather nice, short haired Estonian girl. We seemed to get on well and she was flirty, so i asked for her number. Shocking behaviour for me, but I'm guessing it either means good things about her or for my future behaviour. I've mentioned I'm busy for a few weeks, but then we'll go out on a date or such I guess. Unsurprisingly, as the one I know least about she's simultaneously the most interesting, but also the easiest to disregard.

4. Riitta - Now this is the dangerous one. There definitely seems to be an increase in tension between us and last night we spent most of the evening with our legs touching, chatting away. Elina even commented about us 'lovebirds'. I do fancy her quite a lot, we get on really well. Something holds me back and I don't know if it is solely fear of ruining what we have, or the fact that, from an intellectual point of view she's not quite where I'd normally aim, but I still fully enjoy her company. She's talking about moving away recently which may be why I am considering her more and more. However, maybe I should sort out the C situation and rate this Liina first and go for R after that if those don't pan out. Not as a back up as such, but that I can probably afford to wait and not risk anything before it becomes no.1 priority. There would still be the question of How to work out.

I saw a film about a guy with Asperger's today. I definitely have some things in common with that. :s

Hit 88mph Marty - The Future????