2008-06-01 - 10:03 p.m.

This should have been posted on Friday but it didn't come through the email.

So she�s off on holiday, this means that it may turn to almost two months post Waish that we really discuss what�s going on. Especially as then the parents descend. Maybe that�s not so bad, but it still leaves me floating.

It�s really annoying I�ve gone from being really relaxed around her the first few times we met to someone who is over-boisterous trying to impress, or being really nervous. This is why it�s rubbish having to not just be. Last night was a case in point, swearing more than I would normally, playing the stand up. Then we didn�t really interact as much as I�d have liked, obviously in those surroundings then it was never really going to be that way.

So I�m toying up texting her before she leaves. Almost in a �ping� sense, if timed well, she�s at the airport and therefore could respond quickly, if she doesn�t then :(. But then I have no real reason to text. Especially as I�m thinking of playing dumb as to whether she�s updating again, in the hope she may encourage me to � leading me to the message about heading into the unknown. But if I haven�t read that then I would not text because I�m meant to be giving her space. Swings and roundabouts. So currently my thoughts run along the lines of:

�Hey, hope the work monster played nice in the end. Have a cool holiday and safe travelling. Is the internet still getting the silent treatment or will we be treated to some exciting blogs to read whilst you�re away? :p Would be nice to catch up on your return (once the beast has got bored of it�s returned plaything, of course!) but feel free to decline. ;)�

But as much as I try and make it none pressuring it still is kinda full on and keen.

I think I should send it, after all, it mostly seems on a downer or at best a non confirmed improvement. At least that can add a little more info into the mix. Of course maybe she won�t respond and then I�m still in the dark, with only another potential black mark down. So not a great deal to lose I suppose.

Certainly work is a major thing in her life and I do wonder if she�s unsure if she has the time for a relationship. She�s travelling 3 times in her first week back alone. But it�d also give me some freedom if I was lucky enough to be considered, so maybe it�d work. Even though I am known to try and spend as much time with the person I�m seeing as possible.

Ugh.

Hit 88mph Marty - The Future????