2012-07-10 - 10:49 p.m.

Thinking back to my last entry and things around me and I came to the startling thought.

What if it's not really about me at all?

Let's look at it.

Tara - a girl who has been engaged three times, married once, and has just found a new bf.

Abi - a damaged individual from her past, no doubt. Her reason for breaking me was that she thought i didn't love her anymore, despite me having just booked a surprise holiday a few months previous.

Cecilie - So dedicated to work, life struggles to fit in. Equally she doesn't seem to know what she really wants.

Veera - also very damaged and hung up on this guy in Sweden, at least she's true to her word that she flatly doesn't do relationships.

Katri - Says she doesn't do relationships, consequently 4 months later starts dating a guy 20 years older than her.

Aino - Well it's not a definite no, yet. And actually I can't come up with a convincing issue with her. But maybe if I bide my time!

Anyway, things with Camilla blindsided me a little actually. It's been a long time since I was that flirty and interactive with someone. Veera would have been the last clear one, discounting Olga.

And there's another thing. Add to my cooking, my dancing, my intelligence, my self sufficiency, my sense of humour. I have an ex who is still very much in love with me and there must be reasons for that.

Maybe the girls that I find myself going for 9 times out of 10 are just as damaged, if not, more so, than me. If I can just apply myself and find the single versions of Camilla, the more available versions of Veera, the less work focussed versions of Cecilie then why shouldn't things just work out?

Hit 88mph Marty - The Future????